Why You Should Never Comment on Someone Else’s Skin. Even if You Think You Are Helping.

I remember the first time someone commented on my skin. I was at a nail salon in the mall and the woman doing my nails told me that if I washed my face regularly it would help with my acne. I thanked her for this advice, even though she assumed I wasn’t already washing my face, I know she was trying to help me in that moment.

This had occurred a year after my first round of Accutane. I have always struggled with acne and even to this day I am not sure the main cause. In my final year of high school my acne was the worst it’s ever been. I had tried the TactuPump, birth control and numerous over the counter products and nothing was working. Finally my doctor suggested Accutane.

For the most part, my first round of Accutane went really well. I know the drug is very strong and is not for everyone. My doctor had also advised me of the side effects; chapped lips, dry nose, sun sensitivity, birth defects, mood changes, depression, etc. I did experience lots of dryness on this drug, but did not notice any mental health issues during this time. I think this is largely thanks to my friends and family. I felt so much love and support from everyone, even with a face full of acne.

For me on Accutane, it got worse before it got better. I had monthly blood work done and check-ins with my doctor. After 5 months of Accutane my acne, for the most part, had gone and I was left with just a little bit of scarring.

However, this didn’t last long. after summer ended I planned on going to a University near my hometown. I wanted to save money and live with my parents while I was in school.

All of my friends left for school that September. I was beginning to feel alone, even though my parents where just across the hall.

At this point in my life, I was very insecure. I remember covering up my face when introducing myself to new people. I was always worried people were looking at my acne scarring and not at me. I wanted to hide. My social life really suffered because of this. I didn’t make any new friends in school and became depressed. During this time I also went off of my birth control because I was thought it was causing me to feel this way. Once I went off it, my acne came back, only this time worse.

I also stopped reaching out to my high school friends during this time. I was embarrassed that my acne had came back and was almost hiding from them because of it. Today, I am still friends with the girls I went to high school with, but we are not as close as we once were. I still sometimes wonder if this is my fault for isolating myself or if it’s just adults drifting apart.

I am aware that people are going through things much worse than acne and that acne is not the end of the world. However, it can and does impact self image, which as a teenage this can feel like the end of the world.

So, please stop trying to help. Stop making recommendations. I am aware of my acne. I am aware that you are aware of my acne. I am doing my best to fix this, but it is a complicated issue. Just because something worked for you does not mean it will work for me. You telling me about something that I should try, insinuates that you don’t think I’m already doing this.

Thanks for caring but please do not comment.

Sincerely,
My insecure 18 year old self